As I’m trying to come out of this “stay-at-home” order that we have been on for the last 3 months, I’m finding myself reluctant to schedule things into my week. I’m a piano teacher and a shop owner. I was run down with work and guilt ridden regarding the lack of quality time I was spending with my family. I don’t want to go back to that again. A lot of the time I was spending on other’s needs was due to my inability to say no. Surprisingly, there’s been several good things that has come of this COVID-19 situation for me, personally. Biggest thing was, it was a great excuse to wipe out my calendar. I was clear of all the things that were on there that I really didn’t want to be doing!
So, now what? As we’re slowly starting to emerge again into the open, I’m noticing my brain switching to work mode for my shop. I still have my piano students and recently I’ve made the decision to homeschool my son through the virtual academy program. I’m trying to figure out what kind of schedule I want to keep for my family and for my own sanity. I know that I can’t be the only one out there coming out of this lockdown situation with a new-found order of priorities. Yet, I’m finding it difficult to put the reins on my brain, which wants to run with the previous way of thinking of “gotta work, gotta work!”
This is where I’m at. I’ve decided with each decision, with each appointment, with each social engagement, I’m going to wait a 12-24 hour period before committing whenever I can. I figured that this alone will help me to break out of my habit of immediately saying yes to everything! I’ve just always done that because I don’t want anyone to be unhappy with me…but I’m finally learning that I can’t make everyone happy. And that in the process of trying to make everyone happy, I’m unhappy. It’s still so hard to say no without feeling bad. But I’m working on learning to listen to my deepest truth and honoring that. This, I do through my meditation. Most days it really helps…other days like this morning, dozing off was all I could accomplish.
As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that this is my start of self actualization and journey to full self acceptance. It goes way beyond just my daily schedule. I’m also realizing that keeping this blog is also a way to keep me from getting overwhelmed with every thought that is flowing into my brain at the moment. It’s helping to keep me focused on one aspect of my life at a time…because really, there’s like a hundred more! My first focus needs to be my daily schedule. What to go back to and what to cut out for good. From there, I feel like I will have the time to focus on work and the time to focus on family and the time to focus on myself!
Just a note on meditation: If anyone out there reading this is interested in learning what exactly is meditation and how it can help you, there is an on-line Meditation Class through my store that you can sign up for. Just let me know and I can get the information to you! http://www.ninebellsandcattails.com
Working mom truths 